Expressions and Motor Development

Just a short blog because now that Kaiden's here, I'm lucky if I can manage to get a shower before noon.

I remember once hearing a father explain that all his newborn baby did was sleep, poop, and eat. Back then I thought, "Hmm, that's all? Sounds rather boring." But now that Kaiden is here, I find nothing could be further from the truth. It's amazing how much little babies grow and what they can process in such a relatively short amount of time. In the pictures I've attached (taken today at 6wks of age) he's showing two very distinctive facial expressions (I love both of them equally) and is exercising his leg muscles for the rolling over, standing and crawling that is to come. Far from being boring, there's so many fabulous precursors to watch Kaiden go through. Instead, I'm taking the advise of so many other parents and am relishing this time with Kaiden.

End of the Liminal Phase

Hmmm, how am I feeling right now? What a very good question, because I feel I am in a weird place at the moment. One day past the baby's "due date" and possibly 11 more days to go. There's a heightened awareness that I'm at the end of my liminal phase. I'm standing in a forest as Mother Nature Personified where my path has ended. Everything is verdant and lush around me and the wind is still. I want to walk out of the forest into the clearing that will become my transition, but I can't because the baby is still not here. My journey in the forest is done (e.g. maternity leave officially begun, several meals cooked up and in the freezer, all hospital bags packed and waiting in guest bedroom, all the furniture/nappies/clothing procured, washed and awaiting its new owner and other pregnant initiates now new mothers themselves).

Instead of moving out of the forest, I stand in one place, shuffling my feet, looking up at the sky and thinking I should probably enjoy the calm while it is here. "Take deep breaths. Be patient. Enjoy the air." All things I console myself with. And the thing is, I don't even know what the weather is like once I can transition through to the clearing? Stormy and unsettled, devoid of others? Clear and beautiful with familiar others? A bit of both? I don't know. I just know I'm standing still at the of my liminal path wondering when the special magic surrounding a mother and newborn child can begin.

Lessons of my Pregnancy

Sometimes I'm not sure what to write in my blog. So I wait for extraordinarily interesting events to come along in my life, and when none does (as my life has slowed down noticeably by now), it dawns on me to write about the extraordinary events happening in and around me. So I leave you with my reflective thoughts on the lessons, thus far, from the 34 weeks of my pregnancy.

1. Pregnancy is a communal activity. Even if you thought it would be all about you, be sure that many other parents have similar experiences and advise to offer. Because of your passage into motherhood, women will disclose some of the most detailed information that your non-pregnant self would never have been privy to knowing. For example, they will share full details of the memory of their C-section, miscarriage, or natural birth as well as any tips on breastfeeding, maternity/breast pads, and antenatal vitamins. But stories aside, there's also all the communal gift-giving that friends and loved ones near or far will want share. Be gracious by allowing them to take part in your baby's upcoming birth. Remember, you're producing another little social being that will become his own little person in the community. Allow and encourage your communal pregnancy to happen.

2. Encouragement is everywhere. I think this is my personal "thank you" to each and every caring friend and family member who ever had an encouraging word to share with me about miscarriage/loss or about raising a son. I still have moments when I'm scared to death, but they're also countered with thoughts of rolling out the big red Hollywood carpet beneath a blazing banner that reads, "I'm going to be the mother of a son!" Thank you all for having the confidence in me to do the correct thing or to, at least, acquire the skills to do that correct thing.

3. Naps are wonderful. Full stop.

4. You have new special needs. I have found in my experience from working with school-age children and their parents the following: everyone has needs. Whether those needs really are "special" in the conventional sense, a need of some attention and love, a need to be heard, or some desperately sought after sleep (see no. 3 above), we all have needs that are being met or unmet. Learn to recognise your new special needs and their accompanying limitations. Don't try to deny or ignore them. You'll only be adding possible harm to you or the baby.

5. Find those experts in the appropriate field who can help you meet your new special needs. I offer this word of forewarning, though. However "expert" they may proclaim to be, they too are human beings with their own sets of limitations and met/unmet needs. You may have to be firm and guide them into the direction you require them to go as experts meeting your needs. It almost seems counterintuitive, but I find in my dealings with the midwife, the employer, the photographer, the pharmacist, and the fitness coach, that they may require a bit of gentle education, background information, and feedback as well. Be fully prepared to engage in the mutual meeting of the needs. Your baby, if not your peace of mind, depends on it.

6. You love your growing baby. Remember to love your partner. Do loving things to remind him that he is your best friend.

7. Learn to relish the new shape of you. You're sharing your body, its resources and its space with a new little person. Embrace that new look to you and take heed that it's not going to stay this way forever. There will be plenty of time for calorie-burning exercises once the baby is here. Plus, you know all those skinny chics you see in the changing room? They're probably in awe that you're going to have a baby, so just revel in your own inner love and beauty!

Me at 32 weeks pregnant in my blue bikini, which I happily wear to my aquanatal courses on Fridays. (I like Pop-pop's comment about this picture that there's sure lots more of me than bikini. Isn't it so, Pop-pop!)

Bruni and Jürgen's visit to Scotland

Bruni and Jürgen came to visit Dominik and I on 31 July. After a long relaxing breakfast on their second day of arrival, Jürgen and Bruni tried their hand at Dominik's indoor golf set.

Bruni und Jürgen haben uns am 31. Juli besucht. Nach einem langen entspannenden Frühstück am zweiten Tag, probierten die beiden Dominiks Innengolf.

Then that afternoon we hit the links (okay, technically the Himalayas) of St. Andrews. Here's Jürgen showing us his stuff!

Später am Nachmittag haben wir Golf am St. Andrews Golfplatz gespielt, aber der war genauer gesagt die Himalayas für Putt-putt Golf. Hier zeigt uns der Jürgen was er kann!

Later in the evening, we drove out to the Pittenweem Art Festival, which we missed when it closed at 5pm. However, Bruni and Jürgen had a whirl around on the dance floor at their first ceilidh. In the video above Dominik is leading Bruni through her first Strip the Willow dance.

Am Abend sind wir auf das Pittenweemer Kunstfest gefahren, das wir verpasst haben, weil es um 17.00 Uhr geschlossen wurde. Trotzdem tanzten die Bruni und der Jürgen auf ihrem ersten schottischen Ceilidhtanz! In dem Video führte Dominik seiner Mutter beim Strip-the-Willow-Tanz.

On Sunday, 2 August, the Stork Tea was officially underway at Pizza Express -- better so because of the threatening rain. My heartfelt gratitude goes out to the conveners of my official prepartum baby shower, Vinet and Gözde, and to the photographer, Jacorien.

Am Sonntag 2. August war der Stork-Tea (Geschenkparty für eine werdende Mutter) in Restaurant Pizza-Express, weil die Wettervorhersage mit Regen bedrohte. Herzlichen vielen Dank an den zwei Organizatorinnen, Vinet und Gözde, und an die Fotografin, Jacorien.

At the Stork Tea, Karen (an Irish friend of ours) kindly captured English-speaking Jeanette (left) and German-speaking Brunhild (right) having an apparently full conversation together. Dominik's commentary on the two, "This is the final demonstration that when women talk, content is irrelevant!"

Auf dem Stork Tea hat unsere irische Bekannte, Karen, die englischesprechende Jeanette und die deutschsprechende Brunhild im Film oben festgehalten. Sie schauen, als ob sie eine vollkommende Unterhaltung haben gehabt. Dominik kommentiert, "Das ist der entgültige Beweis, dass Inhalt unwichtig ist, wenn sich Frauen unterhalten!"

And just before their departure one week later on 7 August '08, we posed for a quick Granny-Mummy-"Hartmut"-Grandpa time.

Und kurz vor dem Abflug eine Woche später lassen wir uns unter dem Titel Oma-Mama-"Hartmut"-Opa fotographieren.

My Love

I love my bump and who's inside more and more each day. I love the summersaults that feel like "Harti" is going to pop right through my abdomen when I'm lying still in bed. I love his poking and prodding when he listens to classical music on the headphones. I love when he kicks while his daddy strums the guitar and sings good night lullabies. I love how he pretends to be still when one of my friends thinks he or she will feel him. But I love how he moves for his daddy. I love all the homemade cooking, vegetables in the garden and healthy eating that I do for him. I love that tightened pull around my belly when he grows. I love him enough that I will get back on my bike or take a walk to keep fit and healthy. And I love when he complains I've worked too hard and that I need to sit down to have a rest.

I can't wait to one day meet that baby who's growing inside of me. I love this little guy.

Golfing in the Himalayas

Having wanted to hit the slopes of the famous Himalayas for over half a year, Dominik Endres shows off his first putting attempts against the backdrop of the the Royal & Ancient clubhouse. The red building to the right used to be university-owned Hamilton Hall, soon to be a hotel again.

A celebratory pose in front of the St. Andrews Links Clubhouse and inside later for some afternoon coffee and cakes. (Left to right: Jennifer, Dominik and Vinet)

Commentary found in international newspaper: "Hailing from South Africa, the 2007 LPGA rookie of the year, Vinet Coetzee, fired a 10-under-par 62 in the second round to move up the leaderboard at the British Open."


While "Hartmut" nested in his mother's womb, he would never really pick up a club until he was 18, which was about the same time he graduated from high school and decided to backpack in New Zealand and Fiji for six months. “I never knew what I wanted to do when I was in high school. So after I finished, I traveled,” he said. “It was an adventure. I bungee jumped, sky dived, I did it all.”

Upon returning home, "Harti’s" adventure continued as he spent the next few years bartending in St. Andrews. While “getting partying out of my system,” "Hartmut" started competing as an amateur and won his first three tournaments. They were small amateur events, but wins nonetheless that inspired him towards golf. His goal of earning a golf scholarship to a college worked when, at 21, he matriculated at the University of St. Andrews in 2030. "Hartmut" posted five wins while attending university that lead to thoughts of playing golf for a living afterwards.

When approached by reporters, "Hartmut" commented, "I think it was all that putt-putt golfing my mother did on the Himalayas while I was still in the womb."

It is very hard not to like Gözde Ozakinci. After a good shot, she jumps around joyfully and offers an infectious smile that spreads an enthusiasm that reminds you why you call her a "friend."

Seen on a golf advertisement:

"Unravel the mystery of ball flight control and learn why it goes the direction it does!"

ST. ANDREWS, Scotland -- Top-ranked women's golfer Jacorien Coetzee on Friday said she would consider following Vinet Coetzee and take on the leading male player, Dominik Endres.

When a reporter asked Ms. J. Coetzee if she would play against a man, the South African said, "I am not going to say no."

"Perhaps we'll change direction," she added. "I am flexible. We are willing to look at something fun, and it could be fun to play a man."

Ms. J. Coetzee did not mention any potential events or competitors other than her flatmate, Vinet Coetzee.


Yikes! Get this girl signed up for some lessons, someone!

"Harti" at 20 weeks gestation

Dominik and I were at the hospital in Dundee on Wednesday, 18 June for the baby's second ultrasound at 20 weeks. It was really cool to see the sonographic technology in use. We could see the four ventricles of its heart. It had the circumference of its head and length of its femur measured. I looked over my left shoulder to Dominik to see his facial expression and saw that he was reading a neuroscience paper from work, which I promptly instructed him to put away. Later when we were back at the car park, I asked him if he was bored with the examination. He replied, "No, just extremely nervous. The paper was anchoring me from shaking too much." (Sweet.) From what the sonographer could tell, everything looked to be in order. Before leaving we asked for the sex of the baby; she told us we would be having a boy. He'll be the first son, grandson (for both sides) and great grandson . . . definitely most spoilt!


Later on that evening, I worked in Newport at the junior boys' club (Rio Juniors) as substitute for one of the Youth Workers. The first half went smoothly, but the second half of the night was a nightmare. The boys (ages 11-12) were so unruly and mouthy. I came home from work and just bawled my eyes out. I don't think I was prepared for the doctor to tell me it would be a boy. I had secretly hoped for a girl. A girl I figured, as illogic as it will sound, I could raise. But me, the mother of a boy? I don't know how to raise a boy . . . I always hung out with the naughtier ones. Would mine turn out to be so? Would my upbringing of him go askew, god forbid he turn into a hooligan? Or a thug? Or a . . . okay, I was over-reacting. The next day I was completely fine. These upcoming parenthood moments can be a little overwhelming from time to time.

Emotional traumas aside, I'm fortunately over the hump of sore breasts, morning sickness and head colds that plagued my first trimester. I can say that I feel like I have settled into life as an expectant mother of a boy for the time being. This past Sunday (22 June), I felt "Hartmut" kicking around for the first time when I was lying in bed. Up until that point I'd only felt "fluttering" on the inside of my uterus wall, which was a very pleasant and surprisingly soft sensation in its own right! On Thursday (26 June) while I was typing on the laptop, I looked down and saw a momentary bulge emerge from the left side of my abdomen. I was like, "Whooaa!" It was wild -- like something out of one of the Alien films.

Oh, but on Wednesday (25 June), the middle of my trunk hurt like hell. It was all cramped up, which Dom and I figured was due to a shortage of calcium and/or magnesium for the day (the milk had soured that morning). And then twice in the night I woke up with the worst leg cramps. Dom still makes the best nurse in the whole wide world when gets up to rub them out. Today, though, he stocked me up on all those necessary minerals so there will be no cramping tonight -- I hope.

Muscle cramps aren't the only challenges to face; Dominik and I have had one brain cramp after another trying to think up names . . . mostly still quite silly, and providing a good laugh, at this point. We come up with names like Primus Gambrinus Maximus Endres or Hartmut (which is considered the Franconian drunk village idiot) or Bacchus M. T. (like an empty [M.T.] glass of Bacchus wine) or, as Barb F. put it, "gangrenous" Gabrinus, or Notburga (then shortened to Notty, as in a Snotty Notty) . . . the list goes on and on. The poor child-to-be. We're open to suggestions in case anyone reading this has any to offer.

And finally, here's a "family" picture taken yesterday on Dominik's birthday (26 June).