Lessons of my Pregnancy

Sometimes I'm not sure what to write in my blog. So I wait for extraordinarily interesting events to come along in my life, and when none does (as my life has slowed down noticeably by now), it dawns on me to write about the extraordinary events happening in and around me. So I leave you with my reflective thoughts on the lessons, thus far, from the 34 weeks of my pregnancy.

1. Pregnancy is a communal activity. Even if you thought it would be all about you, be sure that many other parents have similar experiences and advise to offer. Because of your passage into motherhood, women will disclose some of the most detailed information that your non-pregnant self would never have been privy to knowing. For example, they will share full details of the memory of their C-section, miscarriage, or natural birth as well as any tips on breastfeeding, maternity/breast pads, and antenatal vitamins. But stories aside, there's also all the communal gift-giving that friends and loved ones near or far will want share. Be gracious by allowing them to take part in your baby's upcoming birth. Remember, you're producing another little social being that will become his own little person in the community. Allow and encourage your communal pregnancy to happen.

2. Encouragement is everywhere. I think this is my personal "thank you" to each and every caring friend and family member who ever had an encouraging word to share with me about miscarriage/loss or about raising a son. I still have moments when I'm scared to death, but they're also countered with thoughts of rolling out the big red Hollywood carpet beneath a blazing banner that reads, "I'm going to be the mother of a son!" Thank you all for having the confidence in me to do the correct thing or to, at least, acquire the skills to do that correct thing.

3. Naps are wonderful. Full stop.

4. You have new special needs. I have found in my experience from working with school-age children and their parents the following: everyone has needs. Whether those needs really are "special" in the conventional sense, a need of some attention and love, a need to be heard, or some desperately sought after sleep (see no. 3 above), we all have needs that are being met or unmet. Learn to recognise your new special needs and their accompanying limitations. Don't try to deny or ignore them. You'll only be adding possible harm to you or the baby.

5. Find those experts in the appropriate field who can help you meet your new special needs. I offer this word of forewarning, though. However "expert" they may proclaim to be, they too are human beings with their own sets of limitations and met/unmet needs. You may have to be firm and guide them into the direction you require them to go as experts meeting your needs. It almost seems counterintuitive, but I find in my dealings with the midwife, the employer, the photographer, the pharmacist, and the fitness coach, that they may require a bit of gentle education, background information, and feedback as well. Be fully prepared to engage in the mutual meeting of the needs. Your baby, if not your peace of mind, depends on it.

6. You love your growing baby. Remember to love your partner. Do loving things to remind him that he is your best friend.

7. Learn to relish the new shape of you. You're sharing your body, its resources and its space with a new little person. Embrace that new look to you and take heed that it's not going to stay this way forever. There will be plenty of time for calorie-burning exercises once the baby is here. Plus, you know all those skinny chics you see in the changing room? They're probably in awe that you're going to have a baby, so just revel in your own inner love and beauty!

Me at 32 weeks pregnant in my blue bikini, which I happily wear to my aquanatal courses on Fridays. (I like Pop-pop's comment about this picture that there's sure lots more of me than bikini. Isn't it so, Pop-pop!)